You've got to find what you love

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

嘿 一年又平安的度過了

再過幾個小時我就成功的在這個世界上活了十八年，真不容易呀，

說是翻越窮山峻嶺也沒有，但就是這麼一路時有小顛簸的走過來了，

十八歲有什麼特別?蠟燭也點了十七次，每次都迫不及待的將他們吹熄,

這次我要靜靜的在黑暗中看火焰搖曳，遙憶十八年堆積的點滴，在蛋糕上

發光燃燒。

五歲的時候羨慕會開車的人能握住方向盤隨心所欲決定今天要去哪裡；七歲

不了解家門前巷子出去的酒吧為什麼有這麼多外國人可以玩到那麼晚不回家，

還有酒有什麼好喝的，為什麼大人總是愛喝；國中的時候讀辛棄疾的詞「少年不識愁滋味」

忿忿不平「小孩有有小孩的煩惱!」如今我卻覺得自己老態龍鍾，背負好多過往，但又青春洋溢

準備迎接未來無限綿延的挑戰(真是個讓人百感交集的年紀)；國三覺得基測是世界末日，錯!

還有更恐怖的在後頭，「基測拼一下高中就輕鬆了!」現在看來是信心水準等於零的一句話，

但對於還未走到的路，誰知道呢?小孩子不懂、不能做的事好像都被歸咎於十八歲魔咒，

「等到十八歲」這條無形的線就一直畫在那裏，一毫秒一秒一分一天一週一月一年的前進，

不知不覺，世界的盡頭就被我走到了，揉著眼睛直呼不相信，你確定嗎?你確定你明天就滿十八歲了嗎?明天就可以開車、可以喝酒、要負完全的行事責任，你敢說你明天就會變成大人，最最重要的是紅包不能領了嗎?

不，明年還是領的到吧，但過了明天我還是不會開車不會喝酒不會讓自己對簿公堂，而且我想我永遠都會是小孩，會說自己是murmur king的人長得大嗎?再等五百年吧!

那十八歲到底有什麼特別的?是誰畫下那條線?誤導了芸芸眾生，其實十八歲和你過的每一天一樣不特別，是誰誘惑著擺著超級大餅再那裡?

阿，好像有那麼一點是我自己，是自己告訴自己等到十八歲可以開車可以喝酒，是自己對十八歲的自己有許多嚮往、憧憬與期許，我要長大，我要追夢，我要獨立，我要變得強大(不是大呆嚮往有肌肉那種)，我要活得精彩，我要幫助世界上的很多人，我要微笑，我要裂嘴笑，我要大笑，我要狂笑，笑忘一切的不愉快，笑望一切炫麗的色彩，我要老子的遺世獨立，又不想與鄰國打死不相往來，我要環遊世界，我要體驗生活，我要周圍的人快樂，我要我自己快樂，我要世界和平，我要與世推移，我要世界上悲傷的比例永遠小於快樂，我要做我自己最期望的自己，

我要感謝我的父母(突然官腔了起來)，我要感謝我的朋友，伴我走過生命中每一段精彩每一段都悸動人心，我要感謝一路走來幫助過我的人，讓我學習成長的人，感謝世界一草一吋，最後不免要說，要感謝的人太多，就謝天吧!

生日快樂!!

打一打不小心就十八歲了，就這麼半推半就的十八歲了，神奇的十八歲線在身後了呢，接下來要做什麼呢? 就大步大步的往前走，絕不猶豫、絕不回頭，就抱著感謝努力活著努力製造絢爛難忘的回憶，努力朝向平靜卻會回甘的生活前進，路就在那裏，就算看不清楚目的地也要勇敢前進，因為每個當下的一切就是目的地，寶藏總會藏在你意想不到的地方，因為

我的路是千山萬水 我的花是萬紫千紅

20090912宜蘭梅花湖

想像一下：

天空湛藍無雲無涯，唯有太陽高掛刺眼的炫耀著。鳥兒振翅的聲響飛越頭頂，隱入樹林，青 山環抱眼前平靜的湖水，眼底一片綠。

你可以感受到太陽輻射放送的熱量，持續不斷前進、入侵，汗水躲進眉毛，沿著雙頰一小段一小段的滑下，浸濕背上的衣服。

好山好水給人無限的震懾，在高氣壓的攏照之下，樹梢的麻雀都靜止。

一陣微風迎面而來，吹起湖面的皺紋。這道風就像熱浪裡注入的一泉清流，昏沉的思緒被喚醒。抬頭看見鴨子悠哉的彎著頭理著羽毛，扁平的嘴輕啄水面，牠回看了你一眼後用短短的雙腳滑過眼前透涼的湖水，身後排開的波動泛起心中的漣漪，漣漪不斷放大，就像投入小石塊濺起心中的悸動，

我要游泳。

接著你不顧一切，朝著湖水直直的走去，不自覺的加快速度，漫步變成小碎步變成小跑步的前進，晃動的景象顯示出越來越接近的湖水，餘光似偵測到眾人的驚訝，但沒關係，你側身躲過別人的阻擋，像是超級瑪莉歐般的勇往直前，在湖岸打住後縱身一躍，咻~~~嘩啦一聲跳進水裡，鴨子受到強烈驚嚇伸出翅膀嘎嘎的叫著，湖水比你想像的深，但沁涼的感覺直達心底，泡在水裡的每個細胞都發出爽快的訊息，翠綠層層的山彷彿在對你微笑，接著你開心的大叫：這，才是真正體會大自然的方法嘛!

以上是本人的一段遐想，如果你也和我有一樣的想法，那你應該去報名三項鐵人，就為了在湖裡游泳。我就去了。

暑假閒來無事報名了宜蘭梅花湖的鐵人三項，基於自己瘦弱不堪的實力，沒有能力獨力完成這項任務(我也只想游泳)，便拉著同學一起淌這趟渾水，三項接力好像是今年才新增的項目，幸好同學接到電話的時候都很興奮，不覺得這是趟渾水， 便將報名表在報名截止的前一天寄出去了。

黑撥撥章魚串燒，這是小黑取的隊名。小黑是我們的自行車選手(這樣聽起來好專業 哈)，撥撥負責路跑，我遊湖。游泳,自行車,路跑；30min 750m,40min 5km,60min 20km,撥撥接到電話的時候說：五公里四十分鐘很簡單阿，我聽到是驚喜交集，真是找對人了，小黑則是每天騎車到捷運站，他問：我們是去玩的嗎? 顯然大家雖然答應但都沒什麼信心，畢竟人外有人天外有天，何況我們都沒受過訓練，本來就是去玩的嘛，我只是想要在湖裡游泳而已。

話是這樣說，但我知道，在接下來的一個月裡，大家都個自竭盡所能的練習，這是接力的另外一項好處吧，因為害怕連累隊友所以會緊迫的盯促自己，每個人都覺得其他兩個人很強，如果自己太慢便是無臉對蒼天了。於是我勤跑游泳池，一開始是跟著外婆在天母國中晨泳，五點的空氣總是特別清爽，而且有專業人士的指導，應該是說那些長年遊泳的阿公、阿嬤都有十足的經驗，有些還遊過九次日月潭；後來轉移陣地到克強游泳池，為了體會湖中游泳的感覺到室外泳池，在星空下游泳是一種幸福呢；開學後就是中午或放學在學校游泳，詢問同學的意見。

其實我後來覺得，這些練習的過程也是我參加比賽寶貴的收穫，心情的轉折，從存粹想到湖裡玩水，到開始練習後發現難度的挫折，再打起精神練習的動力，甚至比得獎要來的有意義，是的，我們後來得獎了。

9月12日，黑撥撥章魚串燒出發到宜蘭梅花湖參加比賽，路上看到許多車子上面架著細細輪胎的公路車，還有看起來肌肉黝黑、一副就是來參加鐵人的人。

這是我第一次到梅花湖，第一次真正的體會青山「綠」水的真實感，早上勘查地形的時候有鴨子在游泳，心想，哇~我等一下真的要跳下去耶，真是瘋狂，還有屬不清的吳郭魚呢

上面是搶飼料的鴨子

下面是我要遊的梅花湖，我媽說我游上來都變綠巨人了，是真的，後來游上來以後沖下來的水都是綠色的，還有不明藻類卡在關節的皺摺裡

黑撥撥章魚串燒

天氣很熱，有三千多人參賽，游泳的選手排隊在手臂上寫參賽號碼
總共分七組，我是第六組，這是每一組下水都可看見爭相恐後的場面，可以想像選手在水裡被踢被抓的可能性，我都亂游偏離水道，所以沒有擠得很嚴重

先游泳再自行車最後路跑，我和小黑在終點等撥撥(上)，撥撥英勇的跑回終點(比我們預估快很多 強者阿)後的合照(下)

小插曲是撥撥因為太緊張了忘記將口袋中的相機拿出來，帶著他跑了2.5公里，我和小黑在他跑第二圈的時後趕緊接下來,結論是撥撥太強了!!

過程很有趣，因為很多人一起努力，完成的很有成就感，大會也有很多贊助商和攤販，一整天都很熱鬧，我們拿到386順序牌，前後都沒看到女生，而且速度都比預期的快，我們很興奮，因為有自我突破，如果都可以在湖裡遊七百五了，人生還有什麼事辦不到呢?

但成績當天沒有出來，我和撥撥是事後的兩三天才在學校夜自習的時候接到小黑的電話，得知我們竟然是女子組的冠軍，興奮的尖叫嚇到了專心讀書的人們，但辛苦獲得回報的激動是不可理喻的，第一名耶，人生的精彩又增添一筆，是說大概是因為第一次辦第一名比較好拿吧，體育老師已經為我們想好下一次的隊名了：上次的第一名or衛冕第一名，哈，未免也太囂張了，不過參加鐵人真的受益良多，難怪有這麼多人為之瘋狂，我現在正積極的說服我國三的妹妹參加小鐵人，準備基測也是要體力的是不是?

湖裡游泳 成功!

你們也去遊嘛

惱人的數學

姐姐 姊姊 ~數學

我妹拿著一張數學考卷晃進房間

一看

是公因數與公倍數

求152與190的最小公倍數

短除法停止在76,95

姊姊 答案是一萬四千多耶 這樣對不對?

你檢查過了嗎?

檢查過了阿 找不到公因數了阿

你怎麼確定的?

看起來沒有阿

你要真的確定

13是嗎?

我不知道

她看了看:不是阿 就沒有了ㄇ\/ㄇ

用看的就知道答案喔 你把他們的因數都列出來了嗎?

怎麼列?好麻煩(遲遲不動筆)

用短除法個別除一除

她開始不耐煩

一隻手撐著頭 一隻手寫著字

過了一會兒:好了 沒有公因數阿

遇見鬼了

我將紙搶過來

38/2=14 計算錯 真是要命

我把紙還給他:

你算錯了

哪裡

重算

他把紙接過又算了算

喔~是19

這題終於結束了

那這一題呢

要求45,54,32的公因數總合

我說:你知道最大公因數的因數就是所有的公因數嗎?

什麼?最大公因數因數......什麼?

最大公因數的因數就是.......

不知道

我問他:最大公因數是什麼?

就是把短除法旁邊和下面的數都乘起來

因數就是把旁邊的數乘起來

為什麼要乘起來?

就是乘起來阿

那我加起來不行嗎?

就是這樣嘛

我硬是要她說出那些基本的定義

結果折騰超久

他還是不知道

就哭著出去大聲嚷叫

是說

家叫到底是怎麼當的阿

小孩真難教

笑一個

今天是小叮噹的生日呢

以下是英文老師在上時給我們放鬆心情的娛樂

好好笑一笑吧

我是個國中的國文老師，生平最痛苦的事情就是改作文。字醜就算了還會自己學倉頡創字，創字就算了還會用自己奇怪的邏輯寫句子。每次都改到哭笑不得…

這次出的作文題目是「美食與我」，我非常沾沾自喜，相當期待這麼生活化又簡單的題目，一定能讓他們發揮的淋漓盡致，可以減輕我每次改作文到快往生的噩運。

沒想到我錯了！這些天兵們每個都是笨板未來的棟樑......

節錄一些下來這些害我邊改邊大笑：

1. 我最喜歡吃的食物是生魚片，但是生魚片最讓我困擾的地方就是他的魚刺很多。

2. 我最喜歡吃的食物是生魚片，唯一美中不足的是，他總是沒煮熟。

3. 我最喜歡吃的美食是青菜，青

菜中最喜歡吃的美食是白菜，為什麼喜歡吃白菜呢？因為他是青菜的一種（繞口令嗎？）

4. 我最喜歡吃滷肉飯跟貢丸湯，他們對我來說不只是一種美食，而是...兩種美食。（真是謝謝你的數學教學）

5. 我最喜歡吃外婆煮的菜，裡面

包含了很多愛心，但是萬一外婆死了我就吃不到了，所以我要趁外婆還活著的時候，叫他每天煮三餐給我吃。（這算老人虐待嗎）

6. 我最喜歡吃那種在外面跑的雞肉。（所以你要吃雞肉前都要追著他跑？）

7. 我最喜歡吃美食，是那種出現

在陸地上，天天都看的到的那種肉。（人肉？）

8. 我對美食的要求很嚴格，他不

能是由一位傷心的廚師做出來的。（連續劇看太多了，孩子）

9. 媽媽很厲害，他下廚以後，可

以把一顆蛋變成一顆荷包蛋。（不然？）

10. 每次媽媽煮完菜我們全家都

會歡呼，於是媽媽就走進廚房再做第二道。（原來你家都是一道菜吃完再煮一道…）

11. 我很喜歡跟爸爸去逛夜市，因為美食都能讓我感到垂涎三尺，只要我看到那些食物出現，就會跟爸爸說：「我要吃這個、我要吃那個，結果我當然什麼都沒吃到。」(好心酸的孩子)

12. 我最喜歡吃媽媽煮的菜，跟外面賣的差的可遠呢！(那到底是好吃還是不好吃?)

13. 世界上美食很多，其中我最喜歡吃的外國料理是台南擔仔麵。(同學,請問你是哪國人?)

14. 生魚片實在是太好吃了，每次一想到我的口水都會緩緩的滴下來…(慢動作?)

15. 有一樣食物讓我百吃不厭，那就是雙胞胎，名字聽起來大家一定都會覺得很奇怪，沒錯，他就是很奇怪。（這樣有解釋到嗎？）

16. 我吃東西總是又快又急，沒辦法，熟能生巧嘛！(這位同學，成語是這樣用的嗎!)

有前輩說他上輩子殺了人，所以這輩子處罰他當老師，唉...我想我不只殺了人，還是殺錯人才會淪落到當國文老師。。。

繼續羞愧去......大家晚安

老師又來了! 繼上次的「美食與我」之後,我又來出賣我的學生了。既然殺錯人的事實已經造成， 總是要自娛娛人一下才不會浪費…

這次的作文題目是：交朋友最重要的事。之前記敘文寫的讓人噴飯，這次論說文寫的讓人噴血... 來看看國中生覺得交朋友最重要的事是什麼吧!

1. 他讀了很多書，很會打電動，也很孝順，所以能跟我做朋友是他的福氣。（我以為你稱讚的是你朋友! …! ）

2. 自從認識他以後，我的人生有了三百六十度的轉變。（沒變就是了…）

3. 我的夢想就是過著貧蛋無味的生活。(該如何過這種生活可以教我嗎…)

4. 俗話說:一寸光陰一寸精，寸精難買寸光陰。（你的句子讓老師有點害羞…）

5. 交朋友最重要的事，就是確定他很正常。(所以要去醫院檢查…?)

6. 我不能沒有朋友！不能！不能不能不能！! (好好好…老師知道你的悲憤了…)

7. 怎麼判斷對方是不是不良少年呢？最重要的是，先確定他是不是都待在陰暗的地方。（所以晚上工作的人都是不良少年…?）

8. 世界上有很多種朋友，有好的朋友，壞的朋友，高的朋友，矮的朋友，聰明的朋友，笨的朋友，男的朋友，女的朋友，不男不女的朋友，真的朋友，假的朋友，老的朋友，死的朋友，其中我最欣賞的就是會畫畫的朋友。（...老師有合理的理由懷疑你的分類是在混版面，而且你的“其中”不是從你之前舉的例子舉出來的！）

9. 如果對方作了十惡不赦的事情，我們就要和他斷交。比如說，上學遲到、作業沒交、掃地不認真…（原來在你的世界裡，這樣就十惡不赦了…）

10. 俗話說：三人成虎，所以朋友多真的很重要。(不是有數字就代表多人…不然…老師有點想把你五馬分屍)

11. 他總是能適時的生出他的手幫我。(請問怎麼'生'…)

12. 我對朋友的要求沒有很高，只要他願意跟我一起花他的錢就好。(有這樣的朋友記得介紹給我…)

13. 我朋友很討厭，每次都把他的弟弟交給我保管。（需要保險箱嗎？）

14. 我朋友家開早餐店，我每次去他家，他都會吹包子給我吃。 (看了半天才知道是台語的蒸包子）

15. 我幫助朋友總是不求回抱。（的確是不用這麼激情…）

16. 中國有句老話說：朋友，就只是朋友；不是朋友，就不只是朋友。這句話真有道理。（真的有這句話嗎…）

17. 我都和我的朋友去八方雲集看舞蹈表演。(看鍋貼跳舞嗎…)

唉...各位慢看，我去面壁了...

真佩服現在學生跳脫的思維

1.__________，為伊消得人憔悴

同學答：寬衣解帶終不悔

（正解為"衣帶漸寬終不悔"，偶承認這個是思想有問題）

2.何當共剪西窗燭，__________

同學答：夫妻對坐到天明

（語文老師閱卷時笑暈。正解為"卻話巴山夜雨時"）

3.蚍蜉撼大樹，__________

同學答：一動也不動

（正解為"可笑不自量"。一動也不動，呵呵，很符合事實阿）!

4.君子成人之美，__________

同學答：小人奪人所愛

（直接暈死）

5.窮則獨善其身，__________

同學答：富則妻妾成群

（正解：達則兼濟天下）

7.後宮佳麗三千人，__________

同學答：鐵棒也會磨成針~~~~~~

（正解為"三千寵愛在一身"）

8.東邊日出西邊雨，__________

同學答：床頭打架床尾合

還有個同學答：上錯花轎嫁錯郎

9.___ _______，糟糠之妻不下堂

同學答：結髮之夫不上床

（語文老師暴怒！）

10.但願人長久，__________

同學答：一顆永流傳

（當時狂笑，現在覺得挺經典的。正解為"千里共嬋娟"）

11.西塞山前白鷺飛，__________

同學答：東村河邊爬烏龜（對的挺工整的）

12.天生我才必有用，__________

同學答：關鍵時刻顯神通

又有同學答：老鼠兒子會打洞

（ 所有語文老師集體毫無形象的狂笑）

13.天若有情天亦老，__________

同學答：人不風流枉少年！

還有同學答：人若有情死得早

（正解為"月若無恨月長圓" )

14.洛陽親友如相問，__________

同學答：請你不要告訴他

（正解為"一片冰心在玉壺"）

15.期末考試出對聯, 上聯是：

英雄寶刀未老

該初三同學對下聯為：

老娘風韻猶存

16.人生自古誰無死，__________

同學答：只是死的有先後

人生自古誰無死，__________

同學答：有誰大便不帶紙

（沒有語言了...）

17.床前明月光，__________

同學答：李白睡的香

18.管中窺豹，__________

同學答：嚇我一跳

（哈哈哈！正解為"可見一斑")

19.葡萄美酒夜光杯，__________

同學答：金錢美人一大堆

20._________，路上行人欲斷魂

初一學生的傑作：

半夜三更鬼敲門

21.老吾老以及人之老，__________

同學答：妻吾妻以及人之妻

（老師後來評卷時說那個同學特別具有奉獻精神，哈哈）

22.五年級的一次考試就考到了 "三個臭皮匠，__________"

同學答：臭味都一樣

（把監考和外面的校長笑翻了）

23.兩情若是長久時，__________

同學答：該是兩人成婚時

24.書到用時方恨少，_________

同學答：錢到月底不夠花

25. 有次考李清照的如夢令，"知否？知否？___________"

同學答：SORRY, I DON'T KNOW...

（正解為"應是綠肥紅瘦"）

26. 千山萬水總是情，___________

同學答：多給一分行不行!

（批卷老師對了一句：情是情，分是分，多給一分都不行）